She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize