i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Houston, we have a blender
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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