I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
