I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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