how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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