I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I am available for nakedness
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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