hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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