puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
