In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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