hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
