Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
the raccoons are back...
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