If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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