when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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