i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
