I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think I died a long time ago.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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