you would pick up someone in the library
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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