But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
