with your own penis?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
