My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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