Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so that wasnt chicken after all
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
