I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
