Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
