I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
