I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
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