The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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