omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
