First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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