i jhust puked up my retainher.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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