then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
