I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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