I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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