bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
high people should be assigned attendants
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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