that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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