I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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