is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
