We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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