i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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