we have pet lesbian snakes
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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