all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
