Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
