The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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