i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm really busy with my period
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