The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
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Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize