dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize