$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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