Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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