Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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