now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I want a musical about memes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
