your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
