I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
