like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm too high and old for this...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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