He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
