Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
